7 Reasons why Final Fantasy sucks

In light of the upcoming games, both the MMO and the DS game, AND the article posted yesterday. I decided to poke fun at everything I found weird and annoying in Final Fantasy. Keep in mind this is all in good fun and I actually really like the Final Fantasy series.

1. Which way is Bafsk?
I never seem to know where the next town is, especially in the early games. It seems I always end up going in the opposite direction until I meet an enemy that’s at least 20 levels above me and die. Oh yeah, did I mention I forgot to save? *grumble*

2. It costs how much!?
Why does every town seem to want to charge me more to sleep in a bed than the last town I visited? Did my leveling increase my overall mass size? Am I now a liability to the hotel because I’m so beefed up? What’s going on here, seriously.

3. I need to equip a stone to my equip in order to equip the equ….Zzzzzz
The one thing I really don’t like about most modern RPG’s is the fact that they tend to make a simple system of leveling, equipping, and items…into a massive, headache inducing, quantum theory rivaling, cluster of fail. Not only are some of the item’s names confusing, but half the time I forget that I have them and what they even do. Leveling in FF2 is some of the most retarded stuff I’ve seen. Not only do you gain hp and stuff…but also sword skill? You’re telling me I have to level my shield in order to be defensively decent…thanks.

4. I’m walking as fast as I can…a BLAZING 2 frames per second.
Lets be honest here people, why the hell can’t I run and if I can…why can’t I go faster. Even when I get in an airship or boat it seems to be running at 1/4 speed. I don’t have the time to traverse the freaking map for an hour just to find Bafsk again.

5. Which generic hero/heroin are you again?
Now I’m completely biased when it comes to Skies of Arcadia, it’s a great game, so why don’t developers take a page from their books when coming up with unique characters? I mean take Aika and Fina for instance, who are just partners to Vyse but yet they are so drastically different from each other and way more memorable than say…uh…what’s that genderless main character from FF10…yeah that one.

6. HELP! HELP! I’ve been poisoned!…Go to sleep you say?
I haven’t had to deal with this in the more recent games…but yes, anything that ails you can be cured by paying the exorbitant fees at the hotel. Granted it is better than dying and losing half your money…*glares at DQIX*

7. Just DIE already!
Everytime I start out a Final Fantasy, or any RPG really, it reminds me of that one scene from “Me, Myself, and Irene” where he shoots the cow. Why can’t I just kill these enemies quickly? It seems to take 10 minutes for the first couple of enemies. Later in the game, I like to come back and just wreak havoc on the low level enemy population.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little article, remember it was all in good fun.

19 thoughts on “7 Reasons why Final Fantasy sucks”

  1. I definitely agree with number 7. I’ve only played Final Fantasy 3 (the DS version so the actual one) and it takes forever to KO some enemies that just don’t look like they deserve to have as many HP as they do.

  2. Play Final Fantasy 5. It remedies most all these problems (even if they are jokingly). In fact, all of you should play FF5. I consider it the best in the series.

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