OILD – Yeti Lair

And now for some madness. Pure, undiluted madness. See, the good cheer of season makes me happy. So happy that I could get incoherent at times (as if any of my ideas are coherent anyway)! So it’s only fitting that I talk about one of the craziest levels in the one of the craziest games ever. It’s the Yeti’s Lair, from Metal Slug 3!

Ok, so. Metal Slug. Yeah. These games are made by crazy people, about crazy people, FOR crazy people. On the face of it, it’s about four soldiers saving the world from a threat, but that threat got progressively more absurd as the series went on. In the first game it’s simply an evil army who wants the designs to the powerful “Metal Slug” tank, in the second that evil army teams up with space aliens out of nowhere, in the third the space aliens come back, but only after a load of nonsense. And yes, the games get nuttier from there. Metal Slug 3 is hailed as the best of the series. It has giant killer crabs, monstrous moray eels (all with feminine human names), murderous carnivorous plants, jetpacks, and more. Oh, and if you pick up enough food your character turns into a big fat dynamo who fires a big fat gun. When I was in school, a classmate and I decided to try out some arcade games we’d never played. We played this game and the constant barrage of WTFery prompted us to come up with a little saying: “Well, stranger things have happened… in Metal Slug.”

So what’s this ice level about? Well, honestly, there’s a more proper ice level in this game, but the yeti lair better illustrates the pure wackiness of this game. See, this cave is an optional detour in the second stage. The second stage is a ZOMBIE LEVEL OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS, AND I SHOULD POINT OUT IT’S NOT EVEN SNOWY IN THESE WOODS. After you fight off zombies for a while (with the aid of a gun-toting chimp and a thundercloud issued to you by teleporting government agents, of course) you can see a sign on the side of a rocky hill. The sign says “ICEMAN.” Shoot down the wall and you’ve entered the secret, icy cave! And inside are… yes… YETIS. The yetis use their cold breath to temporarily turn you into a snowman, which will stop you in your tracks just long enough for them to run up and punch you. You must make your way to the left, but oh no! Something’s blocking the way! What would that be? STACKS OF GIANT ICE CUBES AND ALSO SOME REFRIGERATORS. Because those are icy, right? Shooting down these blockades will let you progress further. When you reach the dead end, you find something frozen in the ground. This turns out to be an ELEPHANT. No, not a mammoth. That’d make too much sense. It’s an elephant with a Metal Slug gun strapped to it. And if you hit the “toss grenade” button? IT SHOOTS ELECTRICITY FROM ITS TRUNK. SERIOUSLY. So it’s time to teach those yetis some manners, right? Well by this point, someone’s already beaten you to it. That’s right, the zombies have busted into the cave and have eaten all the yetis. Well that’s fine; now you can just shoot at zombies with your new elephant buddy! Once you get back to the cave’s entrance, the elephant sinks back into the ground and into the ice. You’ll have to return to the zombie stage without him! Now, did you get any special weapon to use in the stage? No. Did you unlock a new character? No. Did you get a secret ending? No. This little detour is in the game for what appears to be no reason other than to BE AWESOME. Because hey, stranger things have happened… in Metal Slug.

It’s Metal Slug; don’t be surprised if that happens. This is one of my favorite wallpapers that I made. Like it too? Get it here!

So, more music, yeah? Well, the yeti lair has no unique music, and I have nowhere else to put these, so let’s get this gigantic music dump started. For you see, today’s music is Ice Cap Zone Act 1 and Ice Cap Zone Act 2, from Sonic the Hedgehog 3. This is probably the most famous ice level song out there, which is why…

IT’S REMIX HEAVEN HERE! Ice Cap Zone has a bajillion remixes! Actually, I described them all in detail last year, so I should probably just paste that instead of repeating myself. SO HERE GOES:

IceCapped by McVaffe is a very gentle remix, with a lot of harp and flute sounds in it. It’s one of the first Ice Cap remixes I ever downloaded and I still love it. IceCap Zone (Frozen Knuckles Mix), by Rayza, starts off with a decidedly bizarre speaking part, but quickly moves into a great mix that stays close to the source material. Ice Attack is by Trance-Canada and is a really nice trance interpretation of the song. Hot Ice is by DarkeSword and is a calmer version with a nice beat, and it also mixes in music from Lava Reef Zone. Snow Motion, by SkyHigh, is a slow version that nevertheless doesn’t drag and is great fun to listen to. Memories Frozen in Time is by DCT and Just Us, and is a rap version about the struggle of following a dream. Eastern Ice Field is by Big Giant Circles and is a uniquely eastern take on the song. Breaking the Ice, by DigiE, is a great electronica version that has a lot of cool synth sounds. Snowboardin’ Sonic is by Willrock and is a lively mix with some fun solos in it.

ALSO did you know that Joshua Morse’s Ice Cold Retro from the OILD 2009 soundtrack is now on OverClocked Remix? IT IS! CHECK IT OUT! That’s pretty awesome, I think! 😀 Don’t forget to download the OILD 2010 soundtrack too!

Man, just a few more days ’til the big Obligatory Ice Level Day! I can’t wait 😀

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