All posts by French Toast

Review: Pokemon Conquest!

Nobunaga’s Ambition never took off stateside (what with it being an in-depth war sim about feudal Japan) but it’s an accomplished series in Japan with installments on many systems ranging from the NES to the Playstation 2. Even with that kind of success, combining the series with Pokemon seems like an odd choice. It’s like combining Age of Empires with Digimon: not necessarily a bad idea, but still bizarre. Despite all this, Pokemon Conquest (literally called Pokemon + Nobunaga’s Ambition in Japan) does an excellent job of blending the simple fighting and training gameplay of a Pokemon game with the deeper mechanics of a war sim, even if it’s sometimes more complex than it needs to be.

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Gimme Five! Things Learned While Working Video Game Retail

Ah, video game retail. Sometimes it can be awesome, like with your local used games store or a small retail chain with awesome prices. Or it could be Gamestop. Either way, every gamer has experienced the inside of a game store at least once. What everyone hasn’t experienced is working for one. The job seems simple from the outside, but there are things you discover on the other side of the cash register. Having just left a job at a cool used game place, I’ve seen these things firsthand. Here are the five biggest things I learned as a nerd for hire!

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Gimme Five! Special 5/2 Edition: Why The NGP Will Be Great/Be Bad For Sony

News about Sony’s new handheld has hit, and because of it I’m doing something special with the format of this article! Instead of just 5 bullet points, there will be 2 for one side and two for another, with the same reason for both sides in the middle! Like all experiments, this could go well or could blow up a building. Let’s see how it goes!

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Gimme Five! Best New Pokemon in Pokemon Black/White

Regular readers know that my first article in this series caused a bit of an uproar. While everyone was generally very civil and understanding, there was a lot of proof that messing with even the fewest number of these cuddly cock-fighting monsters will unleash a flood of opinions the likes of which this site had not seen before. There was an implication that nobody seemed to get, though: if I disliked those five, it follows that I like all the others at least a little bit. And that’s true! In fact, this new batch of Pokemon is really good, with a lot of clever designs and fun analogues to real animals. There are a few that particularly caught my eye as being especially awesome. Here are the top ones!

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Gimme Five! Dead Game Appendices That Weren’t Great To Begin With

Contrary to popular belief, the human appendix may not be as useless as previously thought! In fact, it may help out the body by protecting some bacteria the body needs in your lower regions. The same is not true about these video game appendices. They may have served a purpose at one point, and in some cases a very limited and dumb one, but as of now they are the most useless pieces of plastic ever created. Come celebrate the death of these five wastes of the environment with me!

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Gimme Five! Biggest Mistakes of the Sonic Franchise

With Sonic the Hedgehog 4 and Sonic Colors out, it seems like Sega has a better grasp on what to do with their flagship hedgehog. That’s a really good thing, because the message sent by ol’ Sonic’s recent history is “we, Sega, have no idea what we’re doing, but we’re going to pump these things out anyway”. How did this once-proud spiky azure franchise turn dull and…less blue? Well I’ll tell you, and luckily for me and my column format, there were exactly five big mis-steps!

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Gimme Five! Awesome Video Game Things That Are Not Actually Video Games

Hey gamers! I know you love games, but listen up: there are things related to video games that don’t actually involve playing a game at all! You know those boxes of text that pop up sometimes during battles? Well there are physical objects made of that text bound to bleached paper! There’s even a whole industry that is devoted to taking cutscenes and showing them in giant rooms that require overpriced scraps of paper to enter! Now that every one of your Pokemon-addled minds have been blown, lets get to five things that prove that wasting time with video games can lead to wasting time in other, more respected ways!

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Gimme Five! Worst Save Systems

Saving may be the best addition to games as a whole since the first caveman thought “man, I can’t wait until someone invents videogames”. It’s nice to think that you can walk away from a game and get back to it on your time. Now saving is easy and straightforward, but that was not always the case. Here are some examples of ways to save that did not quite work out as intended.

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