SKETCHIN’!! – … Whatever.

I love Valve. I love Half-Life and Team Fortress and Portal and Left 4 Dead. And part of why I love them stems from how much I love their characters. Valve is known for making awesome, distinctive, interesting characters that are arguably alive. Whereas many other studios’ characters merely inhibit ice, nothing more.

… Wait, what was I talking about?

More after the break

Anyway, I think Valve kind of dropped the ball when developing Rochelle, one of the survivors from Left 4 Dead 2. She just doesn’t say anything interesting. Bill’s the hardened old war vet, Francis is the complaining biker guy, Louis is the cheerful nerd, Zoey’s the movie-quoting kid, Coach is the well-meaning… coach, Nick’s the smart aleck conman, Ellis is the goofy good ol’ boy and Rochelle is… nothing. As such, nobody wants to play as her. So, I made it my mission to make Rochelle vaguely interesting. By binding random quotes to her voice command list, I was hoping to make her spout off nonsense during the campaigns and thus make her somewhat entertaining. Unfortunately, this hasn’t worked out so well on account of her not having many unique things to say. In fact, only one quote’s really jumped out and grabbed my fellow players…


Yes, my Rochelle will occasionally yell out THE WAS FLYYYYIIIIING THE HELICOPTER!!! in a forceful, determined, slightly-annoyed tone. This also prompts Nick to always respond with a disinterested “… Whatever.” Constantly making her say this gave rise to a stupid in-joke of her being obsessed with helicopters. What’s even better is I found another voice command of her just yelling “A HELICOPTER!” so naturally I just make her jump around saying “A HELICOPTER! A HELICOPTER! A HELICOPTER!” like an idiot. ROCHELLE THINKS EVERYTHING IS A HELICOPTER. ZOMBIES ARE HELICOPTERS. COACH IS A HELICOPTER. THIS MEDKIT IS A HELICOPTER. A HELICOPTER! A HELICOPTER! HE WAS FLLLYYYIIIING THE HELICOPTER!

… Whatever.

12 thoughts on “SKETCHIN’!! – … Whatever.”

    1. Open up the console. Then it’s:

      bind key “vocalize WorldIntroC31c3”

      Replace “key” with the key you want, but keep the quotes around the command. VOILA, ROCHELLE IS OBSESSED WITH HELICOPTERS.

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