In some regards, games look weirder and weirder to me. All of them have to abide by the almighty Game Logic, you see. First aid kits completely heal monster bites and gunshot wounds, enemies don’t know how to use power-ups, and your animal mounts can run for all eternity without stopping to rest.
One staple of Game Logic is The NPC Who Blocks Your Path For Some Petty Reason. You have to save the world, but if some little kid says “you can’t go down this alley until you give me the password!” then by giblets you’re going to find out that password. No chopping the kid’s head off or even picking him up and moving him aside. For all the bad press game characters get for being evil influences, they sure are sticklers for the rules.
That’s basically how Wilhelm acts. If he can keep from it, he won’t break any rule. If he does, then he might as well BE that evil villain that’s trying to destroy the planet.
Oh Mega Man 3. Mega Man was something of a tradition in my house as a kid. MM2 was one of the first NES games I ever played. Every time a new one would come out, my brother and I would rent it ASAP and try to beat it in a single weekend. We made up Robot Masters and even participated in Nintendo Power’s robot design contest. It’s probably my brother’s favorite series of all time; after some time he’d almost only play old games, and for a while beating a Mega Man game was his default way to kill time. Some of my fondest gaming memories are of that series, so naturally I was excited about The Speed Gamers’ MM marathon.
Snake Man is my favorite Robot Master and his theme is my favorite song of the series. I can’t remember if I even originally did this cartoon just for the marathon or if I just felt compelled to pay tribute to the blue bomber. This cartoon makes little-to-no-sense, and by gum that’s how it ought to be!
Yay! We’re almost through the backlog of these cartoons. Then I can simply bother everyone monthly or so instead of daily. Won’t that be great, kids?
Here’s The Big Whale, starring… a big whale. It’s a huge leap of logic to make that connection, I know. I originally made this just for fun, because I wanted to do a cartoon that did a lot with a little; I made this big, elaborate whale character and just focused on the fun of riding him around instead of working in some elaborate story. People seem to dig Giant Happy Space Whale. AS WELL THEY SHOULD.
TSG announced the date of their Final Fantasy marathon shortly after I made this, so I held onto it until then. I’m sneaky like that.
Today’s cartoon was brought to you by the number 20, and the letters W, T, and F!
Many months before I uploaded this one, someone had requested a Bioshock-themed cartoon. I still haven’t gotten to play Bioshock, but I did enjoy the soundtrack. Of all the songs on it, this seemed to be the easiest to animate to. As we all know, it’s best to always take the easy route when doing anything ever, so I did! YAY ME AND YAY LAZINESS!
FUN FACT: The Theme of Tara is named after the syllables “TA RA,” which was how Hideo Kojima would sing the two distinctive notes in the song. Needless to say, this was made for The Speed Gamers’ Metal Gear Solid marathon.
Yuh-ohh, creepytown! This was posted the day after the fakey fanime one. This song is from Mechwarrior 2. It’s an awesome robot game with awesome robots in it, so you should totally play it sometime.
Ok, so, originally I was just going to post this without comment and see how many “…what” replies I got. But then I figured I should probably explain this mess.
This was posted on April Fool’s Day as a joke. A new trend on Youtube is to post “fanime,” or home-made cartoons using MS Paint and Windows Movie Maker. Kids make their own little shows, cast their friends as voice actors, and post them for all the world to see. Yeah, this is poking fun at the practice, but rest assured that had the resources been available to me as a kid, I’d have posted dozens of incomprehensible cartoons.
Wait, that’s what I do now…
Note: No eights, canines, or warriors in this video.
Yes, Wilhelm and Zee have some small backstories. No, they don’t come across well enough in most of the cartoons because I love to fail. For months I had wanted to show Zee’s problem with constantly having to say goodbye to so many friends. Originally I was going to do this with the Beatmania IIDX song “Colors,” but it came off so emo that I scrapped it. Not that this isn’t absurdly emo anyway.
Basically Zee constantly trails behind Wilhelm not because she’s a helpless sidekick, but because she wants to make sure he’s always there.
Stupid puns! Goofy attacks! Typos in the credits! This cartoon has it all. I always thought the statues in Final Fantasy 6 were kind of creepy. I mean they’re just standing there, but you know all the insane attacks and spells are coming from them.
So I destroyed all the creepiness by replacing them with a big cartoony sloth statue. Because that’s how I roll.
Aww yea’, now it’s time for a very relevant video. This cartoon was made to promote last year’s Pokémon marathon. Sinnoh is home to the first snowy town in the Pokémon universe, I loved Route 216’s music, and the marathon was going to be huge, so I couldn’t help myself.
The statue-like creatures in the video are based on dogus, little clay figures that have been found in Asia and South America. But these are dogus who live in the snow, so I call them “snowgus.” Each snowgu was modelled to look simplistic, like the Pokémon in My Pokémon Ranch. I don’t know, I think they’re cute.